St. Patrick's Day Musings

This morning I was "driving" into work (I use the term driving loosely here as it was more like sitting in bumper to bumper traffic) when I noticed the car in front of me.  It happened to be an Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight.  For those of you who are not familiar with this type of car, I will show you what I'm talking about:

via here

(Please note, this is not the exact car that I saw, just the model)

Said car was in front me and I noticed it was a particular hideous shade of green.  Like Kelly Green, which is pretty on it's own, but on a car?  No.  Clearly it was not it's natural paint color.  

But what drew me to the car was NOT it's hideous green color.  No.  I could tell that there was something on the trunk.  See the picture above?  See how the trunk is flat?  On the truck there was something attached.  I inched closer and upon further inspection I noticed:

via here

Yes, wooden letters that you would find at a Michael's Craft Store.  These letters were affixed to the trunk of the car with what I can only imagine to be glue.  Inching ever closer I saw that the trunk said:

Do you like my rendition?  It looked just like this only imagine an ugly green background of the trunk of the car.

Which is an Irish saying that means, "Ireland Forever".  Needless to say this car intrigued me and brought on many questions including:

• Is this car the driver's main  mode of transportation?
• Is this car only pulled out once a year for St. Patrick's Day?
• Is St. Patrick's Day really that important to this person that they feel it deserves it's own special car?
• Where was the person headed?  Work?  A bar?
• Was there more to the car that I was missing?

This last question was most important.  I wanted to get around the car to get a good look, but I didn't want to give up my lane position in traffic (we were in a lane that was actually moving so to get over would have cost me time and I wouldn't have really been able to see anyway).  Finally, I HAD to get over and I caught the briefest of glimpses of the side.  In my quick glance I believe what I saw was the Irish flag spray painted on the back end of the side of the car.  I don't believe that a car has ever brought me that much entertainment on my way to work.


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In other news, what's better than a KENTUCKY win?

A LOUISVILLE loss!

(I'm not sure where this picture came from, but suffice to say, it is not mine, so credit goes to whoever it is!!)

I hope that the team you are rooting for was just as lucky in the first round on this St. Patrick's Day!

It's Everywhere that you Go

For some reason I feel like a lot of TV shows/movies that I like have a plot line about a couple that is having infertility issues.  Let me first explain that I do not pick these shows because of the plot line.  Generally, I watch the show/movie and then this plot line comes out of nowhere, but that's ok.  I enjoy seeing Hollywood's take on it. 

Most recently the show that has been featuring it that we have been watching is Mad Men (we're only on season 2 so don't ruin anything for me if you watch it!).  One of the characters and his wife have been trying to have a baby and they haven't been able to.  For various reasons we know it's her and not him (I don't want to give too much way!).  The most recent episode that we watched featured the woman wanting to adopt and the man not wanting to have any part of it because those babies are the "rejects".  All I can say is thank GOD I do not live in the 60's or that my husband is not a giant you know what.

So long story short... it got me curious about adoption.  There is a very real chance that adoption will be one of our only options and it's high time I got myself acquainted with the process.  We are most interested in going through Catholic Social Services and per their local website here are some FAQ's that really answered some of my questions I had. 

Q: What are the eligibility requirements to adopt through Catholic Charities of Northern Kentucky?
A: We work with couples who are experiencing infertility, have been married at least three years, are residents of the Diocese of Covington and between the ages of 25 and 45. Couples must be in good health, have a normal life expectancy, and have the physical, financial and emotional resources to attend to the needs of a growing child. Couples of all faiths are welcome to apply. Q: How much does it cost?

A: Our fees are based on a sliding scale according to income. The total expenses usually run between $11,000 and $17,000 before the $11,650 Federal Adoption Tax Credit, which can reduce the total paid to less than $6,000.

Q: How long is the wait?

A: After the home study is completed, the average wait for a placement is between twelve and eighteen months.

Q: Can I choose between a closed and open adoption?

A: Yes. Adoptive parents and birth parents are encouraged to design the adoption plan best suited to their needs and the needs of their child.

Q: What is the typical birth mother like?

A: She is a young woman of considerable maturity and courage. She sees the benefits of counseling and is invested in making the right decision for herself and her child.

Q: How old are the children placed for adoption?

A: Almost all children placed through our adoption program are newborns and are generally placed directly from the hospital.

All looks good, but I'm nervous about the money.  If we are serious about adoption, I think my next step is to research ways to make this a financial option.  One way or another, I will have a child!

Oh Yeah, I Have a Blog

If by some miracle you are still following this blog or reading, I congratulate you and thank you.  This might be popping up in your reader and you might be wondering, who is this blogger?

Ugh.

This is what makes sporadic blogging so hard.  The "coming back".  I really do want to write to more.  I know I say that all the time, but I really mean it.  It's a hobby that I enjoy and I love reading other blogs.  I just get lazy about it.  I know lazy about a habit.  What are you going to do?

So to make the ease back into blogging a bit easier, I'm going to link up with Jamie for a What I'm Loving Wednesday. 

I love that in a few short weeks, we will be heading for the Smokey Mountains/Gatlinburg for a weekend getaway.  I could not be more excited.  I'm so ready for a getaway and this place is perfect.  It's only a few hours away and it's a fairly cheap trip.  Also it has such great memories for me and the husband.  I can't wait!

I love that tomorrow we are going to reach temperatures in the 70's!  This is amazing.  I'm so ready for spring and summer weather.  I can handle fall, but I have absolutely no use for winter.  None.  I do not ski.  I do not ice skate.  I do not sled.  Warm weather will be much appreciated in these parts.

I love that my husband came and met me for lunch today!  I got to show him around my new office and he got to meet all of new co-workers.  It was nice to see him in the middle of the day and share my work life with him.

I love that March is here and the NCAA tournament is underway.  I'm hoping for big Kentucky wins especially against West Virginia and Ohio State.  A win against Ohio State would be perfection.  While I'm hoping for a Kentucky win, I'm hoping for Cincinnati and Louisville losses.  Mostly because I want the people I'm friends with on FB and follow on Twitter to shut it.  Nothing like a little "friendly" competition!

 via here

I love that on Saturday I get to celebrate with my friend and her family the fact that her father is cancer free!  About a year ago a good friend of mine's father was diagnosed with leukemia.  He needed a bone marrow transplant and my friend was lucky enough to be a match and ended up saving his life.  I'm happy that I get to share in the special celebration with them! 

I confess...

I confess that I enjoy hearing other people's stories of infertility.  Well, I guess "enjoy" really isn't the right word for the situation.  It's interesting to see and hear how others deal with the situation.  I've never really watched the show about Giuliana and Bill Rancic, but I am aware of their struggles to start a family.  I found this link today and I teared up reading it - especially the video  (Pathetic, I know).  It's nothing crazy special, but it was nice to see someone else say that their marriage is better and stronger because of their struggle.  I wholeheartedly believe that mine and my husband's marriage is stronger because of our journey which is important because so so many couples who struggle with infertility end in divorce.  I hope that their marriage continues to grow stronger in the face of adversity, just like ours has.

Video via Us Weekly

Perspective

This past weekend, the husband and I had some interesting conversations/revelations.  It is no secret that I want children.  I want to experience pregnancy (although not the morning sickness).  I want to know what it's like to have a baby growing inside of me and feel the baby move.  I want to look down and every week see my belly getting bigger (and no getting fat would not suffice). While I want to experience all those things, I am however not opposed to adoption.  If that is the path the leads us to parenthood then I'm all for it, as is the husband.  I can think of no better way to serve God and help a child in need than to adopt.  In some ways, I feel like it is what I was put on this earth to do, but there is still a lot of planning, prayer and thinking that needs to be done in order for any of that to become a reality. 

It's hard to make a move in any one direction though. 

I really like the way that my life is right now.  And so does my husband.

Don't get us wrong.  If I found out tomorrow I was expecting, we would be over the moon about it.  There is no doubt in my mind that we both want to be parents and that we would make good parents. 

It's just... we like the way life is right now.  We can go to work, come home and just veg out if we want.  We can decide last minute to run out to the mall or go to the movies.  We can take day trips up in Ohio to go shopping and spend our money on things we want.  We can plan a weekend trip only two weeks in advance.  We can sleep in late or stay up super late.  We can sit around the house all day long and not do a darn thing.  We are free to do just about whatever we want (within reason, obviously).

All that would change, drastically, if we were to have a baby.  Even though we have had nearly four years of this freedom, we don't know if we are quite ready to give that up just yet. 

Friday night we went to see a play with another married couple.  We left right after work and went to dinner and then to the show.  As we were leaving the husband and I got talking about the rest of the plans and somehow the topic of children got brought up.  We had watched our niece earlier in the week, and while we love spending time with her, we both agreed it was nice to send her home.  We could relax and just be with each other.  We didn't have to entertain anyone else or put anyone to bed.  We were responsible for no one but ourselves.  As we got talking about our Saturday we were both excited to be able to sleep in and then go out to breakfast.  Things that would not be impossible with children, but definitely not easy. 

While we were out to breakfast, we noticed a man and woman with twins.  They got served their food and then both had to cut up food and what not for the kids before they could ever even eat.  We both agreed that we were perfectly fine to be sitting there sans children and able to enjoy our food when it was served.

So what's the point in all this rambling?  It's all about perspective.  I often get jealous when people are pregnant or talk about their babies because I want that in my life.  I want to have the absolute surprise of taking a pregnancy test and finding a plus sign or two double lines or what have you.  However, I'm not 100% read to give up my current life.  I sometimes like the way things are!   I can sit here and say I'm so jealous that so and so is pregnant, but at the same time I like I can be selfish or just spend time with my husband. 

I am getting scared though.  I'm getting scared that I'm getting too comfortable with the way my life is that I'll never make the move to explore our options with fertility or adoption.  While I know that I want to have a family, it's hard to make the commitment to starting a family because I know that my life will change and it will change forever.  How will I know when I'm ready to let most of my freedoms go? 

I'm not writing this to rub it anyone's face that I can do whatever, and I'm not saying that it must suck to have children.  I'm just saying that for me, it's hard to make the commitment when I'm pretty happy with the way things are right now.  Is that so bad?