Redemption

So I feel like I should write another entry since my last entry was quite... emotional.  Ugh.  Sorry about that.  I just have a lot of feelings lately and I don't know what it is.  The holidays, maybe?  Whatever it is, it really needs to go away because I'm seriously watching an episode of One Tree Hill and TEARING UP.  I'm so pathetic right now!

MOVING ON

Last night I was in a bad place (clearly) and my husband, not really knowing why I was so crabby, fixed it without even knowing he was fixing my broken heart.  He had just picked up our wedding video that day and so we sat down to watch it together.  It was just what I needed to remind me of how lucky and blessed I really am, even I don't get everything I want. 

So let's back up.  Yes, I did get married three and a (halfish) years ago, and yes, I just saw my wedding video for the first time last night.  Allow me to explain.  Husband and I got married when we were fresh out of college.  I had graduated in December and he had graduated just two months before the big day.  We were quite young and had only been working in the professional world for a few months.  We didn't have tons o' money to be throwing around and neither did our parents.  Our parents really helped out, but we did have to cover a portion of the wedding ourselves.  One of they ways we saved money was by not having a videographer, which quite frankly, is still a decision I am ok with.  Even if we got married now and had tons of money to spend on the affair, I still don't think I would shell out the money to have a professional video.  Sure it's nice to have, but I just don't find it necessary.  Besides, I hate the way my recorded voice sounds. 

Anyway, that was a long drawn out way of saying that my uncle taped the ceremony and parts of the reception for us.  It was on a tape that we couldn't play.  For years, my husband has been begging me to get it converted to DVD and for his birthday I finally did.  So finally, we got to see ourselves get married.  It was sweet. 

After watching the video though I came to the following conclusions:

• I would like to get married again.  Because that?  Was a heck of a good time.
• I was a bit heavier back then.  Not much, but I notice it.  Yick.
• The colors were gorgeous, no?

•  I still hate the way my voice sounds on video.
• I don't recognize some of the people who were at my wedding.  Is that bad?
• I STILL love my wedding cake.

But overall, I noticed how happy and in love we were (and still are).  I was reminded of what it felt like to have our entire future stretch out in front of us and not worry about the good and the bad.  It was a single night in our long past and future - really just a moment in time.  And for that moment our world was perfect, and it still is because no matter what, we still have each other.

Yeah, I think that's just the reminder I needed.